I did think that I was doing well in the lead up to Griffin's birthday. I cried a bit the day before but on the actual day, I felt ok. Sad but also that I'd come so far that I thought I could put one foot in front of the other and keep on moving forward. However, I'm slightly falling apart. I had a really destructive turn on thursday (b-day+1) where I got really (really really) drunk and it must have brought something up because I've been off ever since.
To the point that I went to the walk-in mental health unit for help. They were really good. I should be getting counselling in the next few weeks and they said I can go back whenever. I'm feeling a bit better by the mere fact that I've taken action and someone unrelated to me is taking how I feel seriously.
It's such an anti climax. There's not much else to say.