Thank you for visiting my blog. Please leave a message to say hello. If you are here because you or someone close to you has lost a child, you have my sympathy.

Sunday, 22 April 2012


I have just started on my first IComLeavWe (short for International Comment Leaving Week), a monthly extravaganza of blog reading and commenting and connecting with people across the world.  Very exciting.  

Visit http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2012/03/icomleavwe-april-2012/ if you are interested in finding out more or joining in next month.

Seeing off the dregs of a horrid illness.  Was in bed for half my Easter holiday before discovering I had a strep throat infection, a lovely course of antibiotics and another week off work later and feeling much better but still REALLY tired all the time.

In the UK recently, there has been alot of research into vitamin D and it's suspected that the majority of Scottish people are deficient, turns out I'm one of them.  Just got the blood test results through and my levels are half what they should be!  This is with taking a multi vitamin daily and being a fan of dairy.  Reading up on it, it seems that vitamin D deficiency can cause all sort of bad things (several that I suffer from) including depression and liver problems.  With OC being a liver condition, I'm hopeful that fixing my vitamin D levels and tweaking my other medication (long story I haven't gotten into yet) could bring down my chances of getting OC again.  

Probably not, but the wonder of positive thinking will make me feel better about even trying again and it's something I can actually do something about now rather than just waiting and hoping.

I think it's my best ever reaction to a bad blood test result lol.

Saturday, 7 April 2012


We have come in to a small amount of money which means we can afford to get Griffin a head stone.  I thought it would cost a whole lot more than it does so we should get a short break away as well. :)

We've pretty much decided on a plain, black polished granite with gold lettering but are stuck on what the lettering should be.  It's for my Grandparents as well so I don't want to have anything too kiddie orientated.  We are not particularly religious but my Grandparents were devout Catholics so nothing too secular either.

I hate the phrase 'born sleeping' as I don't like to think of dead people as asleep, sleeping is not dead!

I'm figuring something like...
Here Lies
..... (dates)
.... (dates) 
Beloved Parents of
Great Grandparents of
Born an Angel 22nd June 2010
Much Loved Son of 

What do you think?  All ideas are welcome.
Wasn't so hard when I decided to actually write something but feel I should round it up in some way.  It's missing something.

If you buried your child, what does it say on their gravestone?  

Monday, 2 April 2012


My chances of getting Obstetric Cholestasis in a future pregnancy.  I'd conned myself into believing it wouldn't happen again.  Dwelling on the 60 part of the 60-90% chance of recurrence but last week we saw the specialist who told me in no uncertain terms that I should expect to have it again.

I was doing alright, we have been trying for another baby since the start of the year and we had a plan.  A loose trying not to put pressure on ourselves plan, but enough to feel that I was eventually moving forward.  Now I'm not sure where I am.

Can I really put myself through all this again?  I know they will be looking out for me, early screening, the specialist said.  Medication and early induction if it does reoccur.  I'm fortunate to be on the radar of the leading OC specialist in the country, not directly under her care but she will be there to do blood tests etc if my own consultant doesn't take it seriously.  Is it enough?

Can I live with myself if I don't give it another try?