Thank you everyone for all your good wishes and kind words. I have had a much better day today and am hopeful again.
All the first milestones have been difficult but I have found birthdays most galling of all. Not just the big ones, close family and friends, but more distant too. My own birthday, I pretty much allowed to go by unrecognised. Hubby working away by this point meant he wasn't around. My mum and sister, who I was staying with, I know they did something but I don't remember what.
But Griffin's birthday, it's coming up so soon and I don't know what to do for it.
Part of me wants to strike the date from the calendar and pretend it doesn't exist, stay in bed all day, potentially take something so I just sleep through it. I know that's not a good idea though, it's going to happen whether I acknowledge it or not.
I want to do something beautiful. I want to do something worthy of my son but I can't think what.
Does any one have any suggestions? What have you done for the first birthday/anniversary?